Anna, I Adore You (Christmas Edition)

Just got my End of Year newsletter from the Disciplinary Board of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania. Among other wise comments from Anna Tator (that’s just my name for the clever person or people who make the newsletter witty and bright) is the remark that there is no anonymity on the Internet. So, sure, do a linguistic analysis on these posts, Anna. Then call me. Let’s talk…

Anna linked to both last year’s Christmas card holiday card heavily disclaimered card from Manatt, Phelps & Phillips, LLP and it’s a hoot. Seriously, you have to click on this. I LOVE self-mockery from lawyers!!!

Now, for their 2011 card, you don’t need the sound on. But do listen to this one, Manatt’s 2012 Christm–uh, Holiday Card.

And please, someone tap Anna on the shoulder and tell her I’ll buy her a drink any time, any place?*

*This offer, while serious, is limited by common sense and good will.

How Low They Can Go?

A completely obscure former associate at Dechert (itself the former Dechert, Price & Rhodes) and Duane Morris (formerly Duane Morris & Heckscher; hey, d’you suppose the shades of Price, Rhodes & Heckscher–whose corporeal selves have been expunged from their respective firms’ Wikipedia pages–play celestial poker together?) by the name of Magdalen Braden has written a romance novel.

Yeah, that’s what we thought too. As bad as lawyer jokes make us out to be, romance novelists are truly despised. Barbara Cartland, anyone?

Okay, back to the gossip. Now, no one expects you to remember Magdalen, who had a brief stint at Dechert and a stint so brief it might be considered the blink of an eye at Duane Morris. We wouldn’t even care except…she’s writing about us. Continue reading

Just Ducky

I have news of that highlight of the Philly sporting calendar, the Quadrennial Inter-Law-Office Rubber Duckie race … in which the pick of the Philadelphia law firms propel their amber-colored avians around the Logan Circle fountain.

This year’s winning duckie, owned by Steve “Beavis” Brzenski, newly arrived at Schyster and Foxx, completed the required two laps of the pool in 4 minutes and 33 seconds.

Since his bird swam purposefully in the right direction, while most others circled gracefully in the eddies, fowl play is suspected.

One Logan Square wag, who viewed the proceedings from the safety of his twenty-third-floor office, stated “it’s not all it’s quacked up to be.”

Don’t Spank Me!

I “accidentally” came across the website of one Christina Thacher, who claims to be a bankruptcy lawyer from the Philly area.

What’s certainly true is that she’s penned some pretty racy romance stories…not that I’ve read any, you understand. Oh no no no no no. (What is BDSM anyway?)

She says she’s writing these books in her idle moments in bankruptcy court. So that woman huddled over a  laptop looking a little “hot and bothered” might be our gal. Continue reading

My Newest Crush, Anna Tator


I have a crush–either a girl-crush or a more ordinary boy-girl crush, depending on the gender of my crushee–on the person (or persons) responsible for the footnotes in the newsletter for the Disciplinary Board of the Supreme Court of Pennsylvania.

There are so many wonderful example of Anna Tator’s (well, I have to give her a name, don’t I?) work, but here’s one that landed in my email last week. Continue reading

Was That Who We Thought It Was?

At last Friday’s First Friday art gallery crawl, we’re pretty sure we witnessed quite the oddest threesome imaginable.

His Honor, Judge Blackjack-in-a-black-robe McIntyre, was at that gallery–you know the one I mean, the one with the really big, really ugly canvases?–when who walked in but two of the Fergusson Leith litigators, Christine Pennington and Elise Carroll. They make a very striking pair: Christine looks like a rather vamp-ish model and Elise has a distinctive bob the color of smoke.

Anyhow, they walked up to Judge McHottie like they knew him. Last we’d heard, Elise Carroll was hiding under a rock since His Honor threw her quite the breaking curve ball in court last month. So seeing her was a bit of a shock. But it’s now a ménage? Is that even allowed under judicial ethics? Continue reading

Another Shocker From the Federal Courthouse

My hairdresser happens to be the next-door-neighbor of the sister of one of the court reporters. Specifically, the court reporter who was one of only six¹ people who heard brand new district court judge, Blackjack McIntyre, declare his love for Fergusson & Leith senior associate, Elise Pennington.

Oh, don’t mumble about this being quadruple hearsay. I’m not offering this for the truth of the matter. And it hardly goes to state of mind, because from what I’ve heard, His Honor has lost his wits completely.

What I heard is this: Blackjack McIntyre, the darling of the social pages in Philadelphia Magazine (and its cover this month), took one look at Ms. Carroll and said he had to recuse himself because he was in love with her. Continue reading

Is AUSA Dan Howard Getting Tired Waiting for Blackjack to Leave?

A little birdie slipped us a note saying that one of the nicest Assistant U.S. Attorneys, Dan Howard, has finally done the math and figured out that his boss, Blackjack McIntyre, may never leave as U.S. Attorney for the Eastern District of Pennsylvania.

(Actually, a different little birdie–yes, we have flocks of fine feathered friends–suggests that Blackjack may be dealt a winning hand by the Senate Judiciary Committee. Like Mikey, they hate everyone, but Blackjack is that rare combination of tough-on-crime, great with the ladies that certain Senators like.)

Anyway, back to Dan. He is such a cutie-patootie (we might have brushed up against him at a recent CLE, when we both reached for the coffee stirrers) that we can’t wait to hear where he lands. Continue reading

Ohmigod I did not see that one coming!

Scout here. So I have a confession to make. I watch junky TV. Like that reality show, The Fishbowl, which has been just an extra bit fun this summer because one of the contestants, Lissa, is from Philly.

(Not that she’s been that interesting a player, by the way. Not like Dylan–whoo, the mouth on that man. No, not his teeth, which are so white I suspect his smile can be seen from the moon. No, I’m talking about the number of times they have to bleep his language…I’m waiting for the “bleeping machine” to break!)

But that’s not why I’m posting here. When it was just some South Philly bartender, big deal, right? Nothing for Philly’s legal gossip site to glom onto. Continue reading

Diss Robing

Pillars of the Philadelphia law community gathered for today’s legal fashion show.

Catwalk models mostly sported black robes again, suggesting last year’s tentative move into silver and gold lamé is destined to be short-lived.

“Judge Judy” King of the Third Circuit Court of Appeals said on the record that “nothing but black will do for me.” Still, she is rumored to favor a one-inch shorter hemline—evidence of her progressive attitude to dress, as well as jurisprudence.

And unlike her TV namesake, our Judge Judy eschews the “white lace collar” dickie–really, does that fool anyone?–in favor of some truly stunning silk scarves. We’ve heard that Judge King makes a semi-annual pilgrimage to Paris to get the very latest in Hermès.